And then there are the elephants in our heads… You know the ones. The heavy, emotionally charged behemoths we’d rather not deal with. For the longest time, we kept them in the “room”—a place just far enough from the surface, hidden from prying eyes. But, as it turns out, that room was too public, too accessible.
So we did what any of us would: we invited them inside. Yes, right here, into the corners of our minds. And oddly enough, here is where they serve us well. We all have them, don’t we? Those looming presences begging for recognition. Like elephants’ trunk-nudging us for peanuts—“Please, look at me, give me attention,” they seem to say. But no peanuts for you today, dear pachyderm. Oh no, not for you. You try to shove it back into that mental corner.
“Get back in there! I don’t want to deal with you,” we think.
But here’s the thing: these elephants, as heavy as they are, don’t leave. They linger. And perhaps, just perhaps, they’re not here to torment us. Maybe they’re here to teach us something about ourselves—if only we’d stop running from them.
They will not enter a room and belittle anybody. Belittling others is a sign of a highly under‑confident person; if it is done out of habit, he or she needs coaching.
Politeness or impoliteness—why so many swear words? Casually being polite is important.
They take risks… the leader takes the risk and does not let the team take the risk. They don’t associate wins and losses with themselves. The non‑confident leader will talk only about successes, while the confident leader will talk about both successes and losses as life experiences.
To tap into the “elephant in the head”—the emotional, instinctive part of your mind—start by using mindful curiosity:
- Pause: When you’re overwhelmed or stuck, stop and take a moment to breathe deeply and center yourself.
- Name the Feeling: Identify what you truly feel—fear, doubt, excitement, or even resistance. Giving it a name helps you acknowledge its presence without judgment.
This small act brings awareness to the “elephant,” helping you understand its direction and allowing you to guide it with intention rather than letting it charge unchecked.
“No man is free who is not master of himself.”— Epictetus.
